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As we walked in there were two Nuns watching as every girl knelt on a pad to prove that their skirts touched the floor before they could go to their class. I too was subjected to this humiliation. Wasn’t wearing these ridiculous clothes torture enough? I wouldn’t be caught dead in a skirt this long under normal circumstances. Two nuns also scrutinized the boys.Dad and I were ushered to the Head Mistress’ Office by a very polite boy that looked just like all of the other boys. He was cute, stood up straight, and his hair was short and combed.We were greeted by the Head Mistress, Mother Superior. She introduced us to Father Tom and to Sister Mary Margaret. Sister Mary Margaret was to be my homeroom teacher, she taught Religious Education. I tried to listen to the long list of rules but I got bored and kept looking around the room. Dad signed a few forms and handed over a check for my tuition. Then Dad was escorted out to his car. Sister Mary Margaret took me to my first class.Sister. " "WELL YOU AREN'T EXACTLY AN ACTION HERO BURSTING WITH ACTION, ARE YOU?" The omnipresent voice asks with a tinge of anger in its voice."Well who is to blame for that?" The hero asks scornfully. "Last week I was 'Long John Thomas', whoring and wenching my way across the Spanish Main. I was the pirate with the biggest 'weapon' in the New World. I still have that 'weapon' and now I am crawling around the Columbian Jungle in a suit. Do you realise how little protection you get from amorous snakes when you are dressed for dinner? Thank God the Western was your first attempt at a book, riding a horse would be a physical impossibility at the moment." I AM YOUR CREATOR... YOU SHOULDN'T CRITICISE ME." Look I have a two pack a day cigarette habit from my excursion into the world of Samuel Schweitzer, Jewish Private Investigator in 1930's America. I have a drink problem from the 'Gut Rot Whiskey' in the Old West and now I am Harold Jones, non-smoking, non-drinking all action hero with half the.
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